UZUMAKI

2000/Director: Higuchinsky/Writers: Junji Ito (manga), Kengo Kaji (supervising screenwriter)

Cast: Eriko Hatsune, Fhi Fan, Hinako Saeki, Eun-Kyung Shin, Keiko Takahashi, Ren Osugi

I think I have mentioned in a few previous posts about my ambivalence towards more modern Japanese  horror films(and Asian in general, though I consider Japan to be yardstick by which the rest of Asian cultures is measured, for better or worse), or cinema in general. With rare exceptions I find most of it  all wanting and repetitive and I much prefer the Japanese cinema prior to about 1970. Uzumaki is for me one  of the exceptions. I had long put off watching this movie for one reason or another, but it was on my list of films to see before I died so I finally popped it in the DVD player and was morbidly pleased with the results, though it is a far from a perfect horror film. I got the BT from demonnoid.com and was surprised to the find the entire manga comic series by Junji Ito included. I included, free of charge, a few pages for readers to check out. To honest I had no ideas this was based on a comic book unit I opened the folder. But like the film I was pleased with the story and art which I glanced over. I tend to not like the goofy looking fairy like characters that adorn the majority of manga comics and I felt the pen and ink drawing sin Junji Ito’s story to look more like the b/w independent stuff coming out of the US from places like Fantagraphic books, which to me are better drawings.

The story takes place in the small Japanese city of Kurouzu which has come under the curse of evil spirals (or vortexs as they are called in the translation). It is not clear why the town is cursed but soon schoolgirl Kirie and her childhood boyfriend Shuichi are at the center of the escalating nightmare. Kirie finds Shuichi’s father absorbed in filming the spiral patterns on a snail’s back one day on the way home from school. Soon there is a suicide at the school when a boy leaps from the top of a very high spiral staircase, landing at the bottom with blood and brains splattered everywhere. Things get more and more out of control as Shuichi’s father loses his mind under the influence of the vortex curse, one night almost losing control when there are no more spiral patterned naturo fish rolls in his miso soup. That makes me pissed off too. He convinces Kirie’s father, a pottery maker, that the vortex is the highest form of art and asks him to design a vortex patterned plate. Soon Kirie’s father is pulled into the curse and distintigrates menatlly and physically. The home situations not the only concerns since at school students are turning into snails and having their hair grow out into elaborate spiral like designs the size of trees. The spiral (vortexes… it really bothers me how these films are translated at times. The term spiral is never once used though sometimes it is the better word to use. We do not say a “votex staircase”) motif appears all over the film, though not as frequently as in the comic book story. Eventually even the dark clouds in the sky assume a menacing spiral pattern.

Shuichi’s father eventually decides he wants to become a vortex himself. What better way to achieve this than to crawl into the washing machine and click it on. His mother winds up in the hospital in despair and she soon clips off all her hair as to eliminate any spiral designs. Soon she realizes her finger prints are spirals and…well… you can guess the rest right? She kills herself after a centipede tries to slither down her ear and soon her dead husband is calling to her from the other side, where there are perfect vortexes. Shuichi himself gets all tied in knots, literally, and in the last scenes we see the towns people all under the effects of the vortex curse, except for Kirie and we do not know what becoems of her. One memorable scene has her stalker admirer throwing himself under a moving car so she will always remember him and he gets all twisted around the wheel and rim. The film ends with unanswered questions but most movies like this do. The comic book seemed to go off into other directions, such as many of the town’s folk turning into dangerous zombie like creatures. While some people in the film appear “zombiefied” they never collect together and terrorize Kirie as they do in the manga story. The film is shot using a greenish hue and it looks eerie. The music score is good and the acting above average. There are no gratuitous school girl panty shots and no sex, which is actually a relief and gives this Japanese shocker a boost in the credibility department. So many newer Japanese horror films are of the Pinku Eiga style, which is simply softcore porn with a few mutilations thrown in to balance things out. Nothing like seeing a young naked Japanese school girl in one scene and then a disemboweled, blood drenched one in the next to push all the borderline personalities watching right over the edge. I thought the film was creepy and well made and the effects and photography are pretty good for this style of movie. Get the comic book if you can, if that is your bag, as I think it is actually a better story.

SAMPLES FROM JUNJI ITO’S MASTERFUL MANGA COMIC UZUMAKI

VIDEO TRAILER FOR UZUMAKI

KING KONG ESCAPES

1967/Director: Ishirô Honda/ Writer: Takeshi Kimura

Cast: Rhodes Reason, Mie Hama, Linda Miller, Akira Takarada, Eisei Amamoto

I was lucky that before all my BT download problems began a month or so back I downloaded a batch of classic Toho kaiju films. Kaiju is the term for Japanese monster films, and in particular those wonderful ones with guys in rubber suits judo flipping one another all over Tokyo. I was pleasantly surprised with King Kong Escapes, the 2nd King Kong film from Toho after King vs Godzilla. It has all the trademarks of a great Toho kaiju film, such as finely detailed miniatures,  and was directed by Ishiro Honda, who turned out some of the best monster films for Toho. One thing that makes this Toho monster film a little more enjoyable than some is the drama between the human being is better than usual.

First there is the crew of the US Explorer. Led by all American he man Commander Carl Nelson (Rhodes Reason) and his 2nd in command Jiro Nomure (played by Toho standard Akira Takarada) the submarine must make an emergency landing near Mondo Island, home of none other than King Kong. They arrive ashore with the head of the medical department Lt. Susan Watson (Linda Miller) who earlier got the crew to shape up by warning them she had plenty of Castor oil to administer. In no time they encounter Kong who gets himself into a kung fu style brawl with Gorosaurus. Of course Kong falls for the blond Lt. and gets all dreamy eyed looking at her. He picks her up to adore her and then she begins to speak English very loudly and slowly and orders him over and over, “Put me down Kong. Down! Put me down!”, and he does since all you have to do is speak English loudly and slowly and anything in the Universe will understand.

There is of course an evil element to the film, as there always is in a good Toho film. Usually some sinister, secret organization (usually led by aliens) is up to no good and they either need to employ or eliminate one or more of the kaijin. In this case the bad guys are led by Dr. Who  played by Eisei Amamoto, who has developed a gigantic Mecha-Kong to excavate all the Element X he desires so he can then sell it to the highest bidder and they can construct enough nuclear weapons to bully the combined powers of the US and the USSR. He is in serious negotiations with the mysterious Madame X, or Madame Piranha,  (Mie Hama) who is from “some unknown Asian country”. The country is never named and it is comical at times how the script avoids identifying the rogue nation, though we can assume it is either commie China or North Korea (remember this is 1967 and you are still better dead than red). Mecha-Kong can not endure the effects of Element X and shuts down and so Dr. Who falls back on Plan B, kidnapping the real King Kong to excavate the mineral. Exactly why humans and human designed machines cannot be used is never explained.

Kong is kidnapped and soon Dr. Who has Commander Nelson on his tail, along with the UN. In these old Toho films the UN seemed to have unlimited power. In some scenes just by saying “I’m with the UN” a person is given charge of entire military units. Nelson and his friends wind up at the North Pole, where Who’s headquarters are, and soon wins over the “Oriental Mata Hari” with little effort, simply by laying back on the sofa and acting rude and arrogant seems to make her weak. She suddenly abandons all her plans for herself and “her country” and sets the good guys free, and of course is offed by Dr Who.

Kong escapes slave labor and swims back to Tokyo and of course Mecha-Kong arrives later and they have it out on Tokyo Tower. There are lots of fun bits in this film and all the actors ham it up and have a great time. The real center piece is Kong’s horrible costume. The mask appears to be made of nothing but papier-mâché and in a couple scenes when Kong runs it is just hilarious. His fingers never seem to move and his eye lids look like window blinds opening and closing. Mecha-Kong looks pretty darn good and the monster battles in the film are above average. Mie Hama is so very cute and she and Dr Who add a James Bond element to the film. Mie would star in 1967’s Bond flick You Only Live Twice, along side  Toho actress Akiko Wakabayashi,  as the coquettish secret agent Kissy Suzuki. If you are not a fan of Toho monsters move along, but if you are and have not seen this one yet then please do. I doubt you will be disappointed. I have about a dozen more Toho monster films to throw at you so stay tuned. Sadly I was not able to get a copy of Ishiro Honda’s Rodan and am going to see if that is available from a Rapidshare site. I watched Ghidrah last night and the Rodan in it looked different, more chickenish than I recall the original version being. This calls for some serious research.

Here is a first for the Cafe really. Normally I would prefer to do my own essays and commentaries but in this case I am just going to copy and paste a short mini bio about Mie Hama from IMDB. When I do do something like this I will always credit the site I got the information from. I am sure I could do a fitting little essay but I a little pressed for time and energy. My personal feelings is that she is totally adorable in that virginal sense. In fact I was almost repulsed that she fell for hairy, crass 007 (Sean Connery) in You Only Live Twice. Her story is rags to riches in a sense. I do not mean untold riches, but going from a ticket collector to one of Japan’s leading ladies virtually over night is a Cinderella story in my book. Now that I’ve shared my personal feelings and I fell a little less guilty here is the info I swiped from IMDB:

Biography for Mie Hama
Date of Birth
20 November 1943, Tokyo, Japan
Height
5′ 4½” (1.64 m)

Mini Biography

Mie Hama was born in Tokyo, Japan on November 20, 1943. She first started out working as a bus fare collector. While working, she was spotted by producer Tomoyuki Tanaka , and was soon employed at Toho Studios. She appeared in a bevy of drama and sci-fi films, including Kingu Kongu tai Gojira (1962), where she became the Giant Ape’s “Damsel in Distress.” She is probably best known in Western Cinema as Bond girl Kissy Suzuki, starring alongside actor Sean Connery in the 007 film You Only Live Twice (1967). That same year, Kingu Kongu no gyakushû (1967) was released, thus, she portrayed the spellbinding “Bond-girlish” villainess Madamn Piranha. Her extended wardrobe and enchanted bed chambers contributed to the film’s “James Bond-ish” atmosphere. In addition, Hama would sometimes be referred to as “Funny Face,” due to her appearances in Japan’s “Crazy Cats” movies.

She became of the most popular actresses in Japan’s “Golden Age” of Cinema, but has done little acting when Japan’s cinema world experienced severe financial problems. However, she did return to appear in a few films in the 1970s and 1980s, and she is seen, most recently, working as an active environmentalist.
IMDb Mini Biography By: Oliver Chu

Trivia

Because of illness during filming, Mie Hama (Kissy Suzuki) was doubled in a diving scene (in “You Only Live Twice”) by no less than Diane Cilento - Sean Connery’s wife at the time.

Had actually appeared in almost 70 movies before she got married to 007 in You Only Live Twice.

The first Asian woman to appear in Playboy.

Was the first Asian Bond girl.

Has been called the Japanese Brigitte Bardot.

Her first name is pronounced “Mee-yay.”

When producers for “You Only Live Twice” warned Mie that because she wasn’t learning English quickly enough, she was going to be fired from the film, she solemnly told them that, because of her shame, she would then commit ritual suicide. Whether she was bluffing or not, the producers decided not to risk it, and she was kept on the film.

This post introduces a new category into the Uranium Café repertoire and that is The Uranium Café Quickie. That is basically what it is too. The post will be bare minium in some regards, though will still have images (though no original vidcaps) and necessary linkings. There will be minimal research and the film will be my gut opinion at the moment. I just want to do more posts and I am watching a lot of movies. My connection is poor and I simply cannot spend all my time uploading media or editing. The fact it is a quickie does not mean the movie will be one I cannot recommend. It simply means it is a post I am going to just slam out as fast as I can with few frills. And the very first quickie for the Uranium Café is a real winner called Girl’s Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers.

I watched this movie last night and wonder if I can really recommend it or not. It has been reviewed by Ghidorah over at Chainsaw Maintenance and he has some nice original vidcaps to go with his post. It is one of the new Japanese zombie movies that are being churned out and is heavy on cheesy, over the top gore and nudity and sex. Students at a high become infected by a “popular” virus (as the subtitles read, as if there they out shopping for viruses and this is the one every one is selecting) and after a psychotic doctor injects the students with an “experimental vaccine” they turn into murderous zombies. There is a cure or treatment in that the swimming pool water makes you immune to the effects of the vaccine (it is never explained why).  That is where the swimming team comes in. Since they all swam that day none of them turn into zombies later and of course have to stand up to the monsters. Later almost all of them are killed at oine time by an infected teachers. Some group of heroes. Aki is the new girl in school and unlike the students around her was brought up by the same psycho doctor infecting everyone to be a super assassin terrorist. But while browsing through fashion magazines in the training compound she decides she wants a normal life like other girls and escapes. Soon she is surrounded by zombiefied schoolmates and having hot lesbian sex with her new best friend, who happened to also be secretly trained by the psycho doctor and is a bad girl.

And this is a really bad movie but it may appeal to some readers out there who just want to kill some time and can enjoy a movie that basically has no redeeming value to it whatsoever. I enjoyed some parts but the acting is really bad and the gore is sort of fakey and very gratuitous. The girls are cute and you get to see a couple naked once in awhile, but it not enough to make the sex part of the film worthwhile. The lead actors try to be too serious as they often are in these new Japanese movies. You know the syndrome, all tortured and shook up inside. Who cares. They should act less and be naked more. And to be honest, there was very little of the swim team running around in those tight black swimsuits that seem to be the center of so many fetish type soft core photo shoots coming out of the land of the rising sun these days. The schoolgirl theme is cool but nothing much happens with it here. The gore will be too much for some people I think and like I said there is not enough sex or swimsuits to live up to that great title. See at your own risk.

SEE NO EVIL

2006/Director: Gregory Dark/Screenplay: Dan Madigan

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Cast: Glenn Jacobs (Kane), Christina Vidal, Luke Pegler,  Samantha Noble, Michael J. Pagan , Rachael Taylor

This movie is directed by ex-porn auteur Gregory Dark who is best known in polite society as the genius behind the New Wave Hookers series. It stars as the imposing protagonist Glenn Jacobs (a.k.a. Kane) of WWF fame. The direction is not bad but it is simply annoying in a way. It looks like a heavy metal video, the type you see late at night on Headbanger’s Ball. That style of camera work is okay for a five minute Morbid Angel video but can really become distracting in a 90 minuteish movie. It has all those shaky faces things like in David Lynch’s Lost Highway and sometimes the camera will come in from three or four angles and the sound will develop in to a swooshing crescendo to simply show something like a fly on an ashtray. I begin to think the fly or whatever is central to the plot or is telegraphing an approaching scene but it is all simply technical excess.

The plot is simple: teenagers in a type of reform school are sent to renovate an entirely dilapidated old hotel that harbors in the secret passages the 6’8” religiously motivated psycho killer played convincingly by Kane. So then, guess what, he begins killing off the teenagers one at a time in brutal fashion and since most of them are unlikable you really do not care who gets it and how. The movie is pretty bleak and some of the deaths seem to take away from there being a possible good hero winning against the evil psycho element to the story. The cop character who lost a hand to Kane years before and so has a grudge is killed off way too soon and senselessly I felt. There are survivors at the end, but they are a pimpish thug and two bitchy teenage girls. It is really pointless anymore to try and understand these endings, since the thing called the movie leading up to the ending is usually more inexplicable. What is important here ultimately is the quality of the deaths and a couple of them are pretty good as Kane hooks people with chains and drags them then crushes their skulls with his bare hands and removes their eyeballs and saves them in mason jars. There is one rather unique death scene where one of the more likeable female delinquents falls through the roof of a glass atrium and dangles from a rope upside down and is devoured by street dogs. Kane is totally sexually frustrated because his puritanical mother never let him watch any of Gregory Dark’s earlier movies when he was boy locked up in a cage in the backyard.

Nothing will surprise fans of the splatter genre and if you like this style of in your face edgy photography (I do not in large doses) you will enjoy the ride. It is well made and the acting is okay, but I only give a mild recommendation because of the jittery, overblown camera work that could have been fantastic if it was just a little toned down.

THE GREEN SLIME

1969/Director: Kinji Fukasaku/ Writers: Bill Finger, Ivan Reiner

Cast: Robert Horton, Luciana Paluzzi, Richard Jaeckel, Bud Widom, Ted Gunther, David Yorston, Robert Dunham

This is one of the cheesiest and most thoroughly enjoyable B movies ever made in my opinion. I have seen the film several times and it seems to work in similar ways as an anti-depressant. Sadly it seems there is no really good DVD version available yet and the one I got online is a VHS rip that appears to the one every one is unhappy with right now. Hopefully it will be released on a nice wide-screen version here shortly. It is a co-production between the US, Japan and Italy, headed by Japan’s Toei and America’s MGM. There seems to be real and borderline talent involved with the film. Director Kinji Fukasaku is more widely known for his human drama and crime films than rubber monster movies. The completely freaked out theme song was composed by Charles Fox who scored Barbarella and The Incident. The supporting cast is made of foreigners living in Japan at the time, for example, stationed military personal. There is not an Asian face to be found in the entire cast. Ivan Reiner wrote the story and I will be doing a post soon on his Wild Wild Planet, a strange sci-fi adventure made in 1965.

TV actor Robert Horton (Wagon Train) heads the cast with reliable character actor Richard Jaekel sharing in the heroics. Bond girl (assassin Fiona Volpe in Thunderball) Luciana Paluzzi,  as Dr. Lisa Benson,  is the female lead and point of constant friction between Commander Jack Rankin (Horton) and Commander Vince Elliot (Jaekel). Horton’s “thumbs up” character is so totally cocky and arrogant as to defy words. The only thing more difficult to describe is his flawless hair that never loses its shape. He assumes command of Gamma 3 space station as he is the only man for the job, and the job is one that Bruce Willis would have to reinact in 1998’s Armageddon. And that is to advert or destroy a huge asteroid that is on a collision course with earth. The difference is that the asteroid Rankin must contend with looks like a moldy meat ball. The real dynamite occurs between Rankin and Elliot since Rankin and Dr. Lisa Benson used to be lovers (this love triangle was actually cut from some versions since the target audience of kid matinee goers might lose interest, but luckily it is included in most versions for those of us who want human interest and romance along with our fakey rubber monsters) and Rankin basically sees Elliot as a pussy who has no business commanding a space station and has every intention of getting back under the covers with fiery Dr. Benson. But first things first.

He blows the asteroid up with little trouble of course but the crew accidentally bring back a sample of a slimy green substance that covered the rock. In no time the thing is absorbing electricity and multiplying and frying the crew to pieces. Lasers have no effect other than to help the thing reproduce, but for some reason throwing your laser gun into the thing’s single eyeball seems to stop them in their tracks. Problems for guilt ridden Lisa Benson and royal prick Rankin are solved easily enough when Elliot gets his face baked by a monster tentacle. The action is silly but paced well by director Kinji Fukasaku. The monsters are really great to look at make the weirdest (and at times really annoying) sounds you are apt to hear from a movie creature. Japanese sci-fi films of the 60’s often had great miniatures (that were usually destroyed) to look at, but the ones here are really corny, and so all the more fun.

There are lots of laughs at the action and dialog and everyone plays it straight faced and serious. Sure the effects and miniatures are really silly but I defy you to not watch this movie and enjoy it. My brothers and I saw this as kids and we used run around the house as the Green Slime (covered in a green quilt and using it for flaying arms) when we all played hooky from our miserable school in San Antonio Tx. I just wish there were a better version to watch. I did not even bother with vidcaps from the version I have but found some nice stills on line after a little hunting. Included is a nice video from my youtube site  ( http://www.youtube.com/user/billdancourtney, now with over 100 video trailers ) with the trailer and energetic theme song. This singer is as deadpan serious Mr. Thumbs up Commander Rankin when he screams “… will you believe it when you’re dead!”  Are you ready to face the terror of The Green Slime? The horror of giant asteroids? The site of a man’s immovable hair? Then hurry out and get this uranium packed classic now. Ghidorah over at the always controversial and not for the squeamish How to Maintain Your Chainsaw has even promised a review soon, so I hope you can see how vital this film is.

TRAILER AND THUMPING THEME SONG FROM THE GREEN SLIME

ONECHANBARA

2008/Director: Yôhei Fukuda/ Writers: Yôhei Fukuda, Yasutoshi Murakawa

Cast: Satoshi Hakuzen, Manami Hashimoto, Ai Hazuki, Hiroaki Kawatsure

Unlike Rottweiler which is a fairly lame flick but one I can recommend I cannot say the same of this mess of a film called Onechabara (or Oneechabara sometimes) and means something like “sword fighting older sister”. It is based on some role playing video game and the heros are a cowboy hat wearing girl in a bikini, a sawed off shotgun toting gal in black and a school girl samurai. They spend their time killing off hordes of zombies that were the creation of a mad scientist. This seems like it could translate into a reasonable movie really, but real fast this thing turns into a load of total horse hocky and only gets more fetid as the minutes grind away excruciatingly.

One thing people online say is that at least the action scenes are decent and well done, but I do not think they are decent at all. They are long and boring and the site of a hundred zombies hopping around and flaying their arms while the samurai girl is attacked by one or two at a times is too shlocky here. Of course this is a gimmick we all know from any Kung Fu movie and accept it, because if the entire band of bad guys actually jumped the hero at one time they would pulverize him, so they sort of hop around and attack one at a time. I live in China and there is no tradition I know of here like that. The opposite is true, huge mobs maul you here at one time. All the gun shot blasts and blood splatter are computer generated and I think that sometimes we just need “real” fake blood from a bottle or tube, and not a computer program. Seems this type of thing is becoming more and more common in Japanese action and horror films. I read the film was shot on video and it looks like it too. Washed out and the night shots are grainy.

The story is simply too unbearable. I display my masochism in just doing this post, but I am trying to save someone out there. I cannot walk away from my responsibility. Why Asian films dip into this maudlin soap opera hell with family ties and tragic love issues and long, sappy death scenes with goofy, over scored soundtracks and crying girls is beyond me. It is so prevalent. Look, the heroine goes on a quest to kill her little sister and does just that, so why this long, drawn out scene at the end with gobs of tears and melodramatic grief. And then during the final duel are all these flashbacks that make the damned thing even longer. She sits weakened and almost beaten, but then… flash back! and she comes back stronger.  And then… flashback and reattack again. If I were the bad guy with a sword at her throat I would recognize that she is having another flash flashback by the3rd or 4th time and is about come back ten times stronger and I would chop her damned head off while she is still looking at the ground and lost in heart wrenching memories.  And at the end of the film I wondered, where are the zombies? It stops becoming a zombie movie for about the last 20 or 30 minutes and becomes this attempt at a cry baby family story. Why? The director and writer can not do a zombie splatter film much less a human interest story. They try to show why the little girl became evil, and how she really  looked up to her big sister and on and on and on… and who cares. I wanna see zombie guts and Japanese boobs in a bikini!!!!

And yes, the girl is sexy and wears a tight, red bikini and cowboy hat… sometimes.  Usually she’s in some gunslinger poncho looking thing. And it is really not that sexy. The one thing the film had going for it and it never exploits it fully. We never learn why she has to wear this outfit as she trudges through the barren wastelands of a ruined, zombie infested Earth. I would think combat fatigues would be better. I do not think any explanation would make it reasonable, but we are deprived of any good shots anyway, so what the hell’s the point. And the zombies are not scary and appear out of nowhere in unreasonably large numbers. One moment their slow and lumbering the next they’re doing Kung Fu flips through the air. The battle scenes, as I said, are brainless. Low end. There is some useless fat guy who cannot do anything but hide when the fighting starts but he is “the brains” of the team, but I never saw him accomplish much of anything other than whimper all the time. Our heroine’s evil sister dresses like a school girl and is always in a clean and pressed looking pedophile uniform, despite the fact the world is in an apocalyptic condition. And why do these women in action movies have to look so intent and serious. Jesus. They frown and grimace more than Clint Eastwood. If you want to frown and grimace do not wear a bikini with fluffy little things on your boobs. It does not work. Squint and suck on a cigarello. And about the sawed off shotgun girl. A double barrel shotgun can only fire two shots then you have to reload. The gun cannot hold 500 shells. I know, suspension of disbelief, but enough is enough.

I admit it. I am weak. I am a sucker for a pretty face and round butt. Take a look at that DVD cover. So promising. Sure, the girl cannot act and I did not expect her to. I did not even want her to. But I hoped to see her do something rather than try to actually act. And she does try, and that means what? Crying and feeling sad over the body of her sister that she kills. For some reason unknown to mortal man these lame soapy Asian films equate great acting with uncontrolled crying. And more crying. And more crying. The tsunami of hysterical crying must be accompanied by corny Asian soundtrack music that builds up and up like a melancholy, anguished bosom about to burst. Oh the sadness of it all. What is more tragic is that this stuff is played on the buses and on the outside PA systems here in China all the time, usually at woofer shattering volumes. Creating a dramatic soundtrack for our insubstantial little lives I suppose.

Asian movie posters are often very well done design wise. I was sucked into this one by the cover art. The covers are great, it is the actual movies here in Asia that seem to be getting worse and worse. God, this thing sucked. I have Machine Girl here too, but I am afraid to even try. The cover looks too damn good for the film to deliver on. Avoid this piece of crap please. But I did include a piece of 3D art of the heroine (I forget her name and refuse to watch the film again to find out or look it up on the net) that looks pretty nifty.

DISAPPEAR (Shissô: boku ga kanojo o tojikometa wake)

2005/Director: Hideo Jojo/ Writer: Hideo Jojo

Caste: Mei Fujishiro, Kaede, Kazuaki Kubo, Yûya Matsuura, Eiji Nakamura, Masayoshi Nogami, Norihisa Yokokawa

There is not too much about this film on the net really. In fact one site I finally located looking for behind the scenes info simply listed the cast as “Asian actors”. I went through a lot of this stuff out of Japan a few years ago and there is usually not much to distinguish one film from another. I suppose you could classify it as a Japanese “pink” movie, meaning soft core porn and mixed in with some unsettling (to some anyway) violence, though the term “pink film” usually refers to films made during the 70’s and 80’s. I think the current term has become “pinku” but I am open to correction here. This film follows a theme in movies I have personally come to call the “Miranda” formula. Miranda was the name of the female captive in the book and film by John Fowles called The Collector (aka The Butterfly Colletor , directed by William Wyler - who turned down The Sound of Music to direct this film- with Terrance Stamp and Samantha Eggar). Essentially the formula is usually about an obsessed loner or social misfit who kidnaps a young woman for one reason or another. Could be spontaniously or after a long period of rumination and stalking. At first she resists him and hates him, but eventually a sort of Stockholm Syndrome sets in and after he has fed her and washed her and supplied her with toilet paper the victim learns to “love” her captor or to at least connect with him in some way. The theme has been done a few times before in Western films (Sweet Hostage, The Keeper) and  is  not something unique to Japanese cinema. What might be unique to Japan though  is that you get the sense Japanese guys are using this stuff as dating guides.

In this sweet little “how to make a girl love you” manual Asi is kidnapped by Yinan who has long been obsessed with her. She, Yinan and Kwangshu are childhood friends though now Asi is “romantically” involved with Kwnagshu. I add the sarcastic quotation marks because in these films the girl never seems to really enjoy the guy’s company or advances and the men are always whiny, sniveling wusses who go into psychotic tantrums if she the girl does not send a text message back soon enough. Yinan, when not working at the metal shop with a crippled, caged duck and obligatory step-father/daughter sex action in the office, is home alone grinding his sashimi to Japanese porno pics with cut outs of Asi’s face pasted to the model’s photos. This seems normal enough, but later after Asi has fallen asleep he is caught trying to steal a kiss. She awakens with a start and Yinan does what any Japanese guy would do in this situation with the girl he secretly loves, he proceeds to try and rape her. In the course of the struggle Asi knocks over his porno collection and sees the pics of herself on the bodies of the naked models. For some inexplicable reason she freaks out and resists more and is knocked out as she falls on the table, and the rest of the movie is dedicated to Yinan’s courtship of her as she is chained to the wall in his bedroom.

The movie ends with Yinan killing himself, the molested stepdaughter (who is about 22 or 23) deciding she does not want to be raped by her evil stepfather any more and sets off to make her own life, and the crippled duck being set free. Asi and Kwangshu ride off together on his bicycle and over all it is a happy ending for this type of film. I mean with only one suicide, the duck not being eaten, the molestation victim walking away (finally) and the boy and girl getting back together for more joyless sex.

Lots of gratuitous cotton white panty shots and nudity make up for the odd behavior of everyone involved.

The Chinese characters on the DVD cover (technically they are Japanese of course, but Japanese written language is primarily based on Chinese Han Zi characters and while my skill is baby level I am trying to learn) say: Shi Zong Shao Nv, which I translate loosely as “vanished girl” or “girl who disappeared”. I cannot add Chinese characters to my Wordpress blog so I must use pinyin only. I am waiting for an updated language plug-in.