THE GIANT CLAW

1957/Director: Fred F. Sears/Writers: Paul Gangelin, Samuel Newman

Cast: Jeff Morrow, Mara Corday, Morris Ankrum, Louis Merrill, Edgar Barrier, Robert Shayne

The Giant Claw sports simply one of the worst, least frightening monsters in the history of movies. But don’t let that stop you from checking out this camp, schlock classic from director Fred F. Sears and producer Sam Katzman and starring Jeff Morrow and Playboy Playmate Mara Corday . The plot is not much different from the multitude of other big bug or animal movies coming out at the time. Mara Corday also starred in two other memorable big creature flicks, Jack Arnold’s Tarantula and The Black Scorpion (reviews coming eventually on both of these flicks). A bird as big as a “battleship” that comes either from the ice age of 17,000 BC or an antimatter universe hovers over the world and makes meals out of jets, airplanes and French Canadians. The giant “chicken” is one of the oddest looking beasts ever, and is simply a string controlled puppet whose wings always stay spread, even when it is nesting. My wife was utterly dumbfounded when she watched some of the film with me. I loved the movie and all its corniness and I am sure any regular reader of the Café will have a good time and more than a few unintended laughs at this movie full of quirky dialog and chessy special effects. One story tells of director Sears sneaking out of a screening of the film as the audience burst out in laughter each time the bird appeared on screen. The monster was added later and none of the cast had any idea what it was going to look like until they say the film themselves. Well we don’t watch this stuff to be wowed by the special effects or captivated by the story. I personally watch them to just escape and have a good time. And if you need a break from the routine I suggest you shake hands with The Giant Claw.

I am including here an audio sample I extracted for your entertainment of a classic scientific explanation of how to destroy the beast that all these old films seemed to have. This is one of the best I have ever heard. Also included along with my usually selection of images are some quoted from IMDB. I love quotes from old films and you will find them here as long as they are good and available. In the next post is a clip I put together on youtube with the trailer and a scene of the antimatter turkey attacking some reckless 1950’s style teenagers, who no matter how rebellious always look like Republicans by today’s standards. The video is in a separate post for technical reasons. The quality of the film trailer is not great but the best I could find, but the clip sample is pretty good. If camp is your cup of tea please check this one out.

A REASONABLY SOUND SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION FOR A SURE FIRE METHOD TO FRY THE CHICKEN FROM OUTER SPACE (OR, MAYBE THE ICE AGE, WHO KNOWS).

MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM THE GIANT CLAW. ALL QUOTES FROM IMDB.

Mitch MacAfee: I know another poem. Be plain in dress and sober in your diet. In short, my dearie, kiss me and be quiet.

Gen. Van Buskirk: Three men reported they saw something. Two of them are now dead.

Mitch MacAfee: That makes me Chief Cook and Bottle Washer in a one-man Bird Watcher’s Society!

Narrator: Once the world was big, and no man in his lifetime could circle it. Through the centuries, science has made man’s lifetime bigger, and the world smaller. Now the farthest corner of the Earth is as close as a pushbutton, and time has lost all meaning as man-made devices speed many many times faster than sound itself.

Narrator: Something, he didn’t know what, but something as big as a Battleship has just flown over and past him.”

Sally: Well, flying Battleships, pink elephants, same difference.

Mitch MacAfee: I said it looked like a Battleship, not that it was a Battleship.

Sally: Oh, come off it, Mitch, you’ve done enough harm with your flying Battleship…

Narrator: An electronics engineer, a radar officer, a mathematician and systems analyst, a radar operator, a couple of plotters. People doing a job, well, efficiently, serious, having fun, doing a job. Situation: normal. For the moment…

Sally: Will it work, Mitch?

Mitch MacAfee: I don’t know. I honestly haven’t the faintest, foggiest idea. It’s one of those cockeyed concepts that you pull down out of Cloud Eight somewhere in sheer desperation.

Sally: Something that seemingly destroyed four planes and just missed you the first time. Something like your flying Battleship?

Sally: Oh, nothing so domestic as a flying saucer, officer. Just a flying Battleship.

Police Officer: Well, have a good time with your flying Battleship.

Sally: If felt like something collided with us up there!

Mitch MacAfee: Yeah, a flying Battleship that wasn’t there.”

Narrator: Once more a frantic pilot radios in a report on a UFO. A bird. A bird as big as a Battleship!

Sally: Did he say what it was?

Gen. Van Buskirk: Yes, he did. A bird. A bird as big as a Battleship…

Mitch MacAfee: You keep your shirt on and I’ll go get my pants on.

Mitch MacAfee: Now, I don’t don’t care if that bird came from outer space or Upper Saddle River, New Jersey; it’s still made of flesh and blood - of some sort - and vulnerable to bullets and bombs.

Maj. Bergen: By the time I get through with you, Mr. Electronics Engineer, you’ll be lucky if they let you test batteries for flashlights.

Lt. Gen. Edward Considine: It’s hard to come up with answers when you don’t even know what the question is.