Relationships can go through a lot of stress. It’s part of any relationship. But ignoring it and not doing anything to change it can adversely affect not just the relationship and the people in it.
Normally, people think one person in the relationship is being toxic and is causing the stress. But that’s not the only cause of relationship stress. Sometimes, it can come from situations that cause one person in the relationship to treat the other adversely. Other times, and actually is the most annoying cause of stress in the relationship, the cause is external: toxic friends, unsupportive family, even an annoying ex-lover.
A lot of people make the mistake of just ignoring the stress while it is still manageable. Sadly and unfortunately, it does not go away while you ignore it; it gets worse. That is why it is very important to know when and how to de-stress your romantic relationship.
And just because you are the guy and you’re not into the therapy and yoga “thing” does not mean you can leave the de-stressing to your girlfriend. You can do something about it especially when you notice the first signs of it before your girlfriend does.
When do you know it’s time to de-stress?
You know that feeling that sometimes, it’s easier to know how to make a girl fall in love with you? Yes– we all do. But if you notice that your girlfriend is acting differently than usual, or is less interested in spending time with each other, or is just generally disinterested in anything that concerns the relationship, don’t let your cheating radar freak out – you guys might just be experiencing relationship stress. This is– more complicated.
Another common ugly indicator of stress in a relationship are constant petty fights. These are those small, useless fights that seem to come out of nowhere. Petty and frequent fights are not part of a relationship’s natural progression; it’s a sign of stress.
How to de-stress the relationship
When you notice the first signs of relationship stress, the first thing to do is to acknowledge it. Talk it out with your girlfriend and together, try to figure out what’s causing the stress. You have to make her feel emotionally-secure all over again. Is it her job? Is it your job? Either one’s parents? Is someone’s ex bothering you both? Or is the relationship getting boring and you need to liven up your relationship? Knowing what actions to take becomes so much easier when you’ve figured out where the problem is coming from.
If the problem is caused by other people, decide whether or not you guys can afford to step away from these people. You will have to realize that the relationship is between you two and anyone else’s opinion should come in second to your partner’s. If not, find ways to either change your outlook on these people to minimize the strain on your relationship, or fix whatever problem these stressful people have on your relationship. This is especially true and important when these stress-inducing people happen to be family.
Another very effective way to de-stress a relationship is to actually get away from it all. Change your job, change your address, or simply go on a vacation together. The new atmosphere can create a fresh new outlook for you and your girlfriend.
Of course, you cannot just change your job or home address every time your relationship is stressed out. One good way to regularly de-stress your relationship is to have a productive hobby together. Courting her all over again is one trick. Try out something that lets you and your girlfriend spend some time together doing something together: craft, weight loss program, cooking, painting, etc. Make this a regular part of your bonding time and work together towards achieving your goal; it not only gives you time to free your mind off regular stressors, but it also teaches you teamwork.