Hello my dear readers, I am here again after my successful last blog post. Today, we’re going to talk about jealousy.
A close friend of mine started to feel the green eyed monster invade when it came to his girlfriend. He sought me out asking my advice one day about whether he should confront her about the way she talked to other guys. After a—long—chat I helped him see things differently, and I thought you guys would also like to read my advice in case anyone else is starting to twitch when their girls chat to other men.
Jealousy is that one emotion that can drive even the sanest of human beings into a dire need to be savage and brute, what do you do when you’re feeling it?
To many of us, jealousy is so hard to describe; you cannot easily box it into a certain specific feeling, it’s like an itch that won’t go away and worse, you don’t know which part is actually itching. And so we resort to getting angry, raising our voices, and maybe even getting violent. But wait, see this first common indicators of interest (signs that a girl likes you) to know if she really likes the guy.
And that is not cute in any way. Whether you’re in a flirtationship, just seeing each other, or in a n-year relationship, there are classier, manlier, and more effective ways to be jealous. And by more effective, I mean in a way that would make your girlfriend love you more or give you more attention just to ease your jealousy.
Here are some tips if you’re starting to feel that rage build up in the back of your head. Read these, and don’t forget, drop me an email if you want more advice on the situation at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m always here to help.
Okay step one is to take a breath. When you feel like you’re about to explode and transform into a green shirt-ripping incoherently-talking monster, breathe.
Take a step back, close your eyes, and breathe.
Next, stop and ask yourself; should I be jealous about this? Some men are just more jealous than others, we can’t do anything about that. But you certainly can do something about how you react right to what you are jealous about. And the first thing to do is ask, objectively, if it is really something to be jealous about. You would not want to be humiliated by your overreaction over something that wasn’t even jealousy-worthy. You also don’t want to end up in a fight over your ‘shallow’ reason for being jealous – trust me, that’s harder stuff to clean up with your woman.
Another idea is to look your best; in fact, look better than you usually do. Change your shirts into something that makes you look more fit, switch into pants that makes your awesome behind more noticeable or change your haircut. Whatever you do, make sure it makes you look better and makes her notice that you’ve done some improvement for yourself. She will notice that you’re jealous, but more importantly that you are making an extra effort at being better than the guy you’re jealous about and she’ll find it cute.
Be sure to let your presence be known, in a subtle way. More often than not, your jealousy is not your girl’s doing. It’s that of some other guy who is trying to impress her and make a move on her. Now whether or not that guy is aware of your presence, you have to make your presence known to him. But not in a I’m more macho then you kind of way. This isn’t a contest for her affections. You have to let him see what he’s up against – and certainly not by violence. If you can’t intimidate him with money or career (because he’s better at it than you, ouch), intimidate him by the fact that you have the girl and the girl loves/likes you and not him. A little subtle PDA would do the trick. *Wink*
And last but by no means least, remind your girl about how much you love her. Make her feel extra special. Extra jealous, extra special. She won’t dare look at any other guy when she can only see and feel so much love from you. Divert all that jealous energy into making her happy and you’ll see how much happier you’d get in the end. Communication is key, it’s not easy, but maybe have a meaningful conversation with her.
Gentlemen, jealousy isn’t bad. What makes it bad is how we react to it so think well before reacting. She was probably just talking to the mailman!
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