Hello lurkers! So I’ve received a ton of emails about my last post. Thank you for the warm reception! I was thinking of what to write today and I’ve remembered a girl I dated in the past who was really nice and all. She introduced me to her friends, and as pressure was brewing, I also introduced her to mine. Unfortunately, I guess it wasn’t the perfect timing. So here’s something for you guys to ponder on.
So you’ve been dating a month and she introduced you to her friends? You’ve come a long way from asking for advice on asking a woman out, (BTW hit me up at email@example.com for more on this) to getting a date/courting her and now being introduced to her friends. Congratulations! You’ve reached a new level in dating: it’s called the I-will-let-my-friends-judge-you-for-real-they’ve-heard-so-much-about-you-anyway level. And that should make you feel both flattered and scared.
But wait, her introducing you to her friends does not mean you should reciprocate it right away! Just because she did it doesn’t mean it should pressure you into doing the same. There’s a huge world of difference between a girl introducing you to her girlfriends and you doing it with your friends.
It’s important to remember that “good things come to those who wait,” and here are some of the reasons why you should hold your horses and wait a little bit longer before introducing her to your best buddies:
To start with, your friends might turn her off. Ever heard of “tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are”? Even when you’re not as big a jerk as your friends, chances are, she’d think you’re exactly the same as them. So if your friends are the misbehaving type, wait just a little bit longer ‘til you’re both comfortable with each other and she knows you enough to distinguish you from your friends.
It’s important to remember that they might scare her away. Some girls like to take things slow. She might think you are getting too serious too soon and it might cause her to back off. It’s a lot of pressure to be introduced to your best brothers from different mothers you know.
And it could mislead her, which is is the polar opposite of No. 2. Some girls think that just because you introduced her to your friends, you guys are totally together and she could move in with you tomorrow. This is so true if you’re dating a possibly clingy girl. And she could totally use it against you if you break it up with her. So unless you’re looking into something serious with her, you might really want to take it just a wee bit longer.
Remember, guy friends are not the same as girlfriends. It’s almost the same as us bringing you over to family dinner right away. So take it slow, make sure you both are ready for it and willing to do it. It’s a different story (and a different blog post altogether) however if she’s asking to be introduced to your friends.
It’s got to be the right timing. When you should take her to meet them boys…Sure there are tips on how to introduce your girlfriend to your buddies, but as the cliche goes, “Timing is everything.”
There’s a season for everything. And thus, there’s always a perfect time to introduce her to your buddies a good place to begin is when you’re official. Boyfriend-girlfriend, wifey-hubby, or anything that says you’re official is always a cue for you to bring her to boys’ night. She would hate if you didn’t even when you guys are serious.
Perhaps a good idea is to just leave it to chance, when they see you, unintentionally, with her. Seriously, this doesn’t take a genius to figure out! Meeting your friends accidentally with your girl would be awkward if you don’t introduce her.
Be sure to find out though if she’s willing. Some girls are so cool with it and would be excited to do it without expecting anything. Gauge her. You know her better than I do! Does she seem the type who can play pool with them and not expect you to stick with her for the next ten years?
Again, the secret to successfully pulling this off is by perfectly assessing how ready you both are for this. It can really change your level of dating so prepare for these consequences!