A Message From Dahlak

Salaam From Dahlak.

Since I turned into a full-time dating and relationships coach, many of my friends have been coming to my place to ask for advice.

They want to know how to pick up girls (I usually refer them to this rather useful SeductionFAQ article here) and make them fall in love with you quickly and easily. The answer to this question is actually quite straightforward. However many guys are confused since there is a lot of information out there which seems to be contradictory. For example, there are just too many blogs on dating and seduction that are written by guys who may have tried a couple of techniques and worked for them. However, these techniques may not be universal, and they may backfire year if you do not use them in the right context.

One of these techniques is called fractionation. This technique is actually a controversial since it is reportedly to be super powerful. In fact, it has been claimed to be one of the most powerful seduction techniques ever to be invented by human. First originated inside the circles of persuasion, hypnosis and mind control back in the 1970s, it has since been adapted to be used in the modern seduction world by pioneers in the underground seduction communities found on the Internet since the 1980s. There are many variations of fractionation used in the context of seduction. One of these variations are called the October Man Sequence. You may have heard about this particular technique from a particularly famous book called The Game, written by a journalist from the Rolling Stone magazine. Based on fractionation, the October Man Sequence is said to be able to make women fall in love in as quickly as 15 minutes from start to finish. It is that powerful, and I have seen it used in the field many times by proven experts. It is quite mind-boggling to see how effective it is to make a woman fall in love with you.

For a beginner, I do not recommend the usage of the October Man sequence or other techniques which are based on fractionation because it is actually quite hard to be used in the field. Also, many newbies in the seduction game make the mistake of learning routines and stories in order to pick up women. They come across as in-congruent and dishonest and this is a sure sign of insecurity. Needless to say, women are turned off by this apparent lack of confidence.

Many seduction gurus and dating experts also recommend building confidence using trickery known as inner game techniques. Of course increasing confidence is always a good thing but this often takes time and effort – and usually it takes somebody months in order to build up confidence. I once had a student who is so fearful of women that approaching them in the public is something very scary to them. As a result, I put him on the therapy in order to overcome this fear of approaching women. The fact is that if your fearful of approaching women then everything is a nonstarter. It doesn’t matter if you know fractionation or other similarly powerful techniques if you cannot even the basic rapport with a woman. Therefore in order to be good at love, dating and relationships, you must know the nuts and bolts of building basic emotional connection or rapport with a woman. That is the recommended starting point that recommend for most guys. And if you need something more advanced, you can always check out the October Man Sequence – chronicled rather impressively at OctoberManSequence.org.

How to build rapport and pick up girls in 15 minutes or less

In order to build effective rapport with the woman, you must first develop empathy with her. What this means is that you must look at things from the perspective of a female. In this respect it is very useful if you are able to learn the basics of female psychology. It is no coincidence that the modern seduction body of knowledge overlaps heavily with traditional psychology, mind control, and hypnosis fields of study. I have a few students who help psychology and persuasion degrees and it is no coincidence that they picked up seduction rather quickly – much quicker than the average student. Therefore if you want to be good with women, is very useful if you can pickup the subject of human psychology as well as hypnosis. Specialized hypnosis techniques such as neuro linguistic programming (or better known as NLP) are also useful. In fact, basic NLP principles and techniques such as anchoring and framing I used again and again in dating and seduction.

Secondly, in order to know how to pick up girls, go download and research on as many seduction programs as you can online. I myself started this journey of improving myself by looking at blogs written by seduction experts. There is no point reinventing the wheel. There are lots of guys who have already been through what you are going through now. Therefore actively seek out experts and you will be able to learn much faster without having to experience much failure yourself. By doing this, you will be able to improve your seduction game and start dating the women that you like as quickly as possible. A good resource is this page – it’s something on how to seduce women that will improve your love life by leaps and bounds. Try it!

Jealousy

Greetings!

Hello my dear readers, I am here again after my successful last blog post. Today, we’re going to talk about jealousy.

A close friend of mine started to feel the green eyed monster invade when it came to his girlfriend. He sought me out asking my advice one day about whether he should confront her about the way she talked to other guys. After a—long—chat I helped him see things differently, and I thought you guys would also like to read my advice in case anyone else is starting to twitch when their girls chat to other men.

Jealousy is that one emotion that can drive even the sanest of human beings into a dire need to be savage and brute, what do you do when you’re feeling it?

To many of us, jealousy is so hard to describe; you cannot easily box it into a certain specific feeling, it’s like an itch that won’t go away and worse, you don’t know which part is actually itching. And so we resort to getting angry, raising our voices, and maybe even getting violent. But wait, see this first common indicators of interest (signs that a girl likes you) to know if she really likes the guy.

And that is not cute in any way. Whether you’re in a flirtationship, just seeing each other, or in a n-year relationship, there are classier, manlier, and more effective ways to be jealous. And by more effective, I mean in a way that would make your girlfriend love you more or give you more attention just to ease your jealousy.

Here are some tips if you’re starting to feel that rage build up in the back of your head. Read these, and don’t forget, drop me an email if you want more advice on the situation at dahlak@uraniumcafe-the.com. I’m always here to help.

Okay step one is to take a breath. When you feel like you’re about to explode and transform into a green shirt-ripping incoherently-talking monster, breathe. Take a step back, close your eyes, and breathe. That way, you can see things more clearly and have a jealousy-free perspective.

Next, stop and ask yourself; should I be jealous about this? Some men are just more jealous than others, we can’t do anything about that. But you certainly can do something about how you react right to what you are jealous about. And the first thing to do is ask, objectively, if it is really something to be jealous about. You would not want to be humiliated by your overreaction over something that wasn’t even jealousy-worthy. You also don’t want to end up in a fight over your ‘shallow’ reason for being jealous – trust me, that’s harder stuff to clean up with your woman.

Another idea is to look your best; in fact, look better than you usually do. Change your shirts into something that makes you look more fit, switch into pants that makes your awesome behind more noticeable or  change your haircut. Whatever you do, make sure it makes you look better and makes her notice that you’ve done some improvement for yourself. She will notice that you’re jealous, but more importantly that you are making an extra effort at being better than the guy you’re jealous about and she’ll find it cute.

Be sure to let your presence be known, in a subtle way. More often than not, your jealousy is not your girl’s doing. It’s that of some other guy who is trying to impress her and make a move on her. Now whether or not that guy is aware of your presence, you have to make your presence known to him. But not in a I’m more macho then you kind of way. This isn’t a contest for her affections. You have to let him see what he’s up against – and certainly not by violence. If you can’t intimidate him with money or career (because he’s better at it than you, ouch), intimidate him by the fact that you have the girl and the girl loves/likes you and not him. A little subtle PDA would do the trick. *Wink*

And last but by no means least, remind your girl about how much you love her. Make her feel extra special. Extra jealous, extra special. She won’t dare look at any other guy when she can only see and feel so much love from you. Divert all that jealous energy into making her happy and you’ll see how much happier you’d get in the end. Communication is key, it’s not easy, but maybe have a meaningful conversation with her.

Gentlemen, jealousy isn’t bad. What makes it bad is how we react to it so think well before reacting. She was probably just talking to the mailman!

So Jessica Stood Me Up. STOOD. Me. UP! #1@$$!

You’re dressed to the nines. You smell like the perfumes section of the mall. You have your ‘swag’ turned on to the full and you’re ready to blow your date’s mind away. And so you showed up at your agreed location, ready and actually giddy for your rendezvous.

wait5 minutes had gone by and she isn’t there yet. ‘Ahh I came in early’, you said.

10 minutes: ‘Ahh girls. Pretty sure she’s looking for a grand, er – dramatic entrance’.

30 minutes and a glass and a half of iced tea: ‘Traffic sure is bad. She should have skipped the freeway; it’s a Wednesday night.’

55 minutes: ‘The waitress is eyeing me suspiciously. I better order something more than just iced tea’.

1.5 hours and 3 bathroom trips later: ‘She’s not picking up. Oh boy. Nah. Can’t be. She’s a nice girl. She won’t. But could she?’

2 hours (and I don’t think you’d actually wait this long): ‘Maybe she got sick or something…just anything!

Ahh and then finally you leave. Annoying!

Have you ever been in this kind of situation? Have you ever been stood up by a date? Have you ever anticipated and waited for some girl who decided to show up without informing you until the last minute or at all? Well, then, my dear friend, you are just one of the thousands of men across the globe who have been stood up by their dates. Well, do you want tips? So for flirting tips, click here.

In this situation, even when the urge to figure out what happened to your date, or make up possible excuses to justify your dates absence, I believe the better, more sane and more dignity-saving action to do is this: figure out what to do to save your face and not look like the loser in the situation.

Tips on how to survive

Here are some gentlemanly tips on how to survive and move on from getting stood up by a girl:

  • When you know it’s time to leave (aka you’ve been waiting more than half an hour without a word from your date), don’t make such a fuss or drama that everyone else can see. Don’t look around too tensely either, like you’re hoping no one noticed that your date didn’t show up. Stand up like nothing happened and leave in the same manner.
  • Grab yourself a burger or some comfort food if you’re too bummed from being stood up (that is if you haven’t yet ordered anything while waiting for her).
  • Don’t call her. It will make you look desperate. Wait for her to call or explain what happened. Emailing her or texting her would be your safest choice, just in case she does have a very valid reason for standing you up. And don’t send her a rant message. That’s just spelling L-O-S-E-R to you. Keep cool (or at least pretend to be). *Wink* She won’t know the difference.
  • Don’t post on her wall or make a Facebook status about it. That’s low and un-classy.
  • Don’t overanalyze what happened either. You came, she didn’t. Period. Remember, you were decent enough to show up, it was not a humiliation on your part that she didn’t show up. Some men tend to over think this part when they really shouldn’t because (1) it’s useless, and (2) it will bruise their ego much harder than it should.
  • And if she does offer an explanation, listen and let your better judgment make the decision.

Being stood up on a date is not that bad. Some people have it worse; consider it a warning about this certain woman.

If You’re My Ex, Then Stop Annoying Me So Much!

Hey there readers, now this is a situation I’m sure everyone has been in—I know I have! Everyone has an annoying ex of sorts – you know, that someone who we love talking about to friends because they make you feel so important and so wanted that they give you an ego boost, but they do it in such utterly annoying ways. They *fake* drunk calls and drunk texts, they talk to your mom and try to convince her to convince you that breaking up with her was a huge mistake, they badmouth you to common friends by showing everyone how the breakup was all your fault, and blah blah blah epic stories that make for Sunday classic soap opera plots.

Everyone has a story of that annoying ex – for example see probably the biggest “attract your ex back” website ever if there is one, PUADatabase.com

But what if you’re the annoying ex? What if you are exactly the kind of past lover that you dread? How do you even know that you’re becoming that loathsome, selfish, annoying bratty kind of ex-boyfriend that once was how your ex-girlfriend acted?

So are you an annoying ex? Well, here are 5 telltale signs that your acting up (aka signs that you must change your ways and move on).

  1. 1. First off, you still badmouth your ex several months later. Okay, so I get that some breakups are just so hard to move on from, especially if it was from one of those long, would-have-been-happily-ever-after kinds of relationships. But moving is required of you after the breakup, and badmouthing your ex is never a helpful step. Especially if you have been doing it months and months and months after the breakup. So you’re mad, you don’t have to talk about it too often.

2.You’ve taken to posting cheesy and emo stuff of Facebook pertaining to the ex (in a way that everyone knows you’re talking to and about the ex but you’re trying to pretend it was just random and the message really wasn’t for her). In simpler terms, this is kind of called attention-whoring. You know, when you’re too desperate to get her attention that you post stuff you think would make her talk to you (even if it meant angering her).

3. Also you’ve begun talking to every other guy that wants to go out with her and acting like you’re still together. If you can’t move on, don’t stop her from moving too. That’s just selfish. (PS, if she’s really into somebody, you can’t do anything to stop it).

4. Maybe you’ve started making threats and issuing blackmail thread or sending her on guilt trips. Whether it’s telling her you’re going to jump off the roof of your house or that you have taped yourselves together having sex and that you’re going to expose it if she does not get back with you, threats and blackmailing are not only signs of being an annoying ex. They are also signs of mental problems and you might want to go see a doctor for it.

5. Or maybe the worst sign of all; you’ve started stalking her. Stalking comes in many forms: following her around wherever she is, calling her nonstop, lurking around her Facebook profile, or asking someone to do all these things for you are considered stalking. And please, I know you meant for her to know that you’re doing all these. After all, you want to “subtly” show her that you still care.

Basically, you’re an annoying ex if you do things that will give your ex-girlfriend’s life a piece of hell every time you get a chance to. Now that’s really, really, really annoying. If you find yourself doing any of these signs STOP immediately and get help. Speak to a friend (or me even at dahlak@uraniumcafe-the.com), for advice on how to hold back from this behavior and move on from her. If you’re really struggling with jealousy, read this too.

Sicko

Readers, I’ve been feeling under the weather lately. Yes that’s right; I’ve got Man Flu and I’ve been feeling pretty sorry for myself. Which got me to thinking about my next blog post and what to do if the lovely lady in your life is under the weather. Because, at the end of the day, it’s not always about us. So, is she on PMS? Instead of moping around for cancelling your romantic date (you’re actually selfish to think it’s something to mope about), why don’t you take this as an opportunity to make her feel extra loved? (Oh that makes it an excuse for us girls to demand extra care, extra love and extra attention).

You know, women can be emotional but sickness makes us extra-extra emotional. So here are my top tips for making her happy and gush over you and get your much-deserved reward when she’s feeling so much better. So I actually got these tips from an article I read on techniques to pick up girls but the concept is pretty much the same.

So here are my 5 ways to be romantic when she’s sick.

To start off the best thing you could do is cook for her. Getting sick pretty much kills anyone’s appetite. But believe me, a little bit of effort will go a long, long way. If you’re not much of a cook and you cannot probably nail a good meal a la 5-star restaurant, beat it on the presentation. Get in her room with some Campbell’s corn soup, some fresh squeeze (no sodas!) and a mini teddy bear or a bouquet of roses will do the job pretty easily. If you don’t know what to cook, email me at dahlak@uraniumcafe-the.com for an easy chicken noodle soup recipe or check this out.

The next step is really simple, just look after her. Even the toughest of femme fatales becomes a teeny tiny baby when sick. Cover her in her favorite blankie, sing her to sleep, tell her stories, and dote on her like you would your own kid. Nothing beats a caring guy to a sick lady.

So this piece of advice isn’t gonna be anyone’s favorite, but it will get you brownie points: do the chores. Now this is definitely one of the skills that would boost your love life! Ahh but of course. Actually, this beats everything. The last thing a woman wants to see after recovering from an illness is a messed up house. It does not matter whether you are living together or not. Simply doing her laundry, cleaning her place, doing the dishes, walking the dog or at least running to the Laundromat for her stuff will go a long, long way. She’d love to recover back to a clean place.

Tips number four is to entertain her. When her ills confine her to her room for days on end, chances are she’s bored. But not if you keep her entertained. Set up a movie marathon with her, make a playlist for her, or do a comedy skit for her! You can even make up silly little poems and love notes that she can read when she’s bored or she’s alone! You don’t need to be a genius, just be a creatively caring dude.

Lastly, just keep her company. Give her your time and attention. Sometimes, you just do not need to do anything but keep her a good company for her to feel loved even when she’s sick. And sometimes, still, you don’t even need to talk. Hugging her, holding her or touching her constantly can definitely help do the trick. But if she needs to be isolated (i.e. flu or some other contagious disease), make sure you keep her company in a different way still. Make use of whatever available technology – Skype, Facebook, text, etc. Call her, text her, make her feel like you’re just around even when the doctors are not letting you see her.

And finally, when she does come around after her ills, you’ll find a very, very grateful girl who’s willing to do anything to make it up to you. *Wink!*

Stranger Love Can Be Creepy

Right guys this week is all about discovering how to attract an unknown girl. If you thought dating was hard before, wait until you read about what I’ve been through. Whether you have been watching a girl in your neighborhood, at school or at work from afar, you have probably thought about making a move at some point. However, if you have no idea how to attract an unknown girl, then you need to learn how to do so now.

Okay, this is the truly difficult bit; build up your confidence levels. Everything begins with confidence – remember that. In fact, confidence in itself can help you learn how to attract an unknown girl with ease. After all, if you are confident, you won’t be too conscious of your actions overall.

For starters, you shouldn’t be ashamed to be yourself. In fact, you have to be yourself, so that she will see who you really are right from the start instead of falling in love with somebody you are merely claiming to be. So, don’t try to be somebody you’re not. This means that you shouldn’t imitate what other guys are doing nor should you use the pickup lines that other guys use, either.

In a nutshell, confidence is really just about accepting yourself and using your personal identity to talk to the girl that you like. So, if you want to learn how to pick up girls and succeed, you have to attract her by being yourself.

I can’t emphasize enough as well how important it is to look good. Confidence aside, you should also aim to look good by taking care of your appearance. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you should spend a fortune on creams and sprays; however, you should invest in cleanliness and hygiene. So, make sure that you keep your hair well-combed, your clothes fresh and well-ironed, and your teeth white and clean.

Although it may be true that looking unusual will get a girl’s attention, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she will find you attractive if you are. However, if you look fresh and clean at all times, girls will want to approach you because distracting stains or disturbing stenches won’t be in the way.

This tip is a little cunning but try a little reverse psychology. One easy way to attract an unknown girl would be to use reverse psychology. Unlike all of the other guys out there who aim to look popular, you should detach yourself from girls sometimes and be different. If you ever find yourself surrounded by rowdy guys and a handful of girls, for example, be the chivalrous gentleman who stands out in a good way.

Believe it or not, acting powerful and cool when you are in a group of people will not always work. In fact, sometimes, it won’t work at all. Truth be told: most of the time, these things only work on television shows. In real life, you will only look arrogant, mean and disrespectful if you act this way – and these are obviously things that girls will not want to see in a guy.

There are a ton of ways on how to attract an unknown girl out there, but don’t underestimate the basic tips mentioned above. These techniques can actually help you create rapport with the girl that you like and win her over in the long run. Also, always go on the lookout for good tips on how to flirt with girls – a good resource is http://www.octobermansequence.org/ .

Good luck in your seduction undertakings!

-Dahlak

PS: I am still open for dating coaching. If you need help improving your relationships with women, contact me at dahlak@uraniumcafe-the.com

Going Long Distance? Good Luck Buddy

Dear readers, not all relationships have it easy, some of them have to go through trials and tribulations to come out the other side. Long distance relationships are an example of this. Now, they can be wonderful; they can be the basis of a long lasting and special relationship that is hard to find or to recreate. But also sadly long distance relationships can be hard for couples. Some problems put heavy strains on the relationship and themselves.

In a recent email from a regular reader, I was asked, “Dahlak, what are the common long distance snafus?” So I’m gonna share what I told him with you lovely people, this were my answers…

Top of the list of long distance issues is missing physical contact. This is the most common, and biggest problem of them all. People need physical contact in order to feel close to one another. You can’t live without each other for too long, or you will start to encounter other problems. One way to address this is to try to meet up with each other and have the best days of your lives again, even if it is just for a week. Make way and time for this, by doing this, you are doing not only yourself, but your partner a huge favor.

Communication failure comes in a close second; running out of topics/ nothing left to say/boredom. This problem is purely mental. There is almost always stuff left to talk about. Find something fun on the internet that you can share or some videos that you can watch together. It doesn’t have to be boring; you can make it fun again. Be imaginative and talk about anything or anyone. Get interactive and play games together. Its only boring if you don’t put effort into it.

Thirdly it’s easy to let our fears and insecurities mess with our heads. There are multiple fear that can come into play when you are having a long distance relationship. Some of them rational, but most of them are, unfortunately, otherwise. The two most common fears are the fear of being cheated on (which is a kind of a trust issue) and the fear of the future. Trust is very delicate when you are not living near each other; you have to trust that the other doesn’t stray and cheat on you. If you are close and know each other well enough, you should know that this fear is more often than not irrational and can sometimes lead to some tense moments. The other fear – the fear of the future, is when you fear about how the relationship can continue. You need plans to avoid this fear. Make plans for when you two see each other again, and make definite plans for the future. You don’t need to plan your whole life out, right there and now. But some milestones would be nice and can help a great deal. Think about the boyfriend destroyer sequences.

Finally, and probably the hardest issue is not having enough time with the person you love. It is a common problem that you are running out of time to spend together. It is natural that you both have individual time schedules and separate social lives. And if you live far apart, there might even be huge time differences that could limit the time you can spend together (see: Skype). Make time for each other and plan ahead. Message each other constantly with the countless free IM apps around and keep in touch. This way your bonds will stay strong and your relationship won’t be under huge strains.

Make her feel emotionally secure  even if you’re not physically present, sometimes all it takes is a real deep conversation to fix a minor issue.  That’s kinda hard to do, I know, but you gotta do it!

De-Stressing…. My Favorite Activity If You Must Know

Greetings and Salutations!

Relationships can go through a lot of stress. It’s part of any relationship. But ignoring it and not doing anything to change it can adversely affect not just the relationship and the people in it.

Normally, people think one person in the relationship is being toxic and is causing the stress. But that’s not the only cause of relationship stress. Sometimes, it can come from situations that cause one person in the relationship to treat the other adversely. Other times, and actually is the most annoying cause of stress in the relationship, the cause is external: toxic friends, unsupportive family, even an annoying ex-lover.

A lot of people make the mistake of just ignoring the stress while it is still manageable. Sadly and unfortunately, it does not go away while you ignore it; it gets worse. That is why it is very important to know when and how to de-stress your romantic relationship. And just because you are the guy and you’re not into the therapy and yoga “thing” does not mean you can leave the de-stressing to your girlfriend. You can do something about it especially when you notice the first signs of it before your girlfriend does.

So how do you know when it’s time to de-stress?

Well, you know that feeling that sometimes, it’s easier to know how to make a girl fall in love with you? Yes– we all do. But if you notice that your girlfriend is acting differently than usual, or is less interested in spending time with each other, or is just generally disinterested in anything that concerns the relationship, don’t let your cheating radar freak out – you guys might just be experiencing relationship stress. This is–more complicated.

Another common ugly indicator of stress in a relationship are constant petty fights. These are those small, useless fights that seem to come out of nowhere. Petty and frequent fights are not part of a relationship’s natural progression; it’s a sign of stress.

So, I wanted to share my personal guide to de-stressing a relationship. I’ve been there at times in the past and I’ve learned to recognise if my girlfriend and I are going through a particularly stressful patch, and I’ve used a couple of these ideas to calm things down. Let me know at dahlak@uraniumcafe-the.com if they work for you too!

Okay, so to begin with when you notice the first signs of relationship stress, just acknowledge it. Talk it out with your girlfriend and together, try to figure out what’s causing the stress. You have to make her feel emotionally-secure all over again. Is it her job? Is it your job? Either one’s parents? Is someone’s ex bothering you both? Or is the relationship getting boring and you need to liven up your relationship? Knowing what actions to take becomes so much easier when you’ve figured out where the problem is coming from.

Next you need to work out if the problem is caused by other people, decide whether or not you guys can afford to step away from these people. You will have to realize that the relationship is between you two and anyone else’s opinion should come in second to your partner’s. If not, find ways to either change your outlook on these people to minimize the strain on your relationship, or fix whatever problem these stressful people have on your relationship. This is especially true and important when these stress-inducing people happen to be family.

Another very effective way to de-stress a relationship is to actually get away from it all. Change your job, change your address, or simply go on a vacation together. The new atmosphere can create a fresh new outlook for you and your girlfriend. Of course sometimes you cannot just change your job or home address every time your relationship is stressed out. One good way to regularly de-stress your relationship is to have a productive hobby together. Courting her all over again is one trick. Try out something that lets you and your girlfriend spend some time together doing something together: craft, weight loss program, cooking, painting, etc. Make this a regular part of your bonding time and work together towards achieving your goal; it not only gives you time to free your mind off regular stressors, but it also teaches you teamwork.

Emotions… What A Beyotch!

Hey guys, this week we’re gonna look at one of the most fatal factors in a relationship; an emotionally insecure girlfriend. Trust me, you don’t want that, I’ve had a bit of experience in this area with an ex in the past. It can be as simple and as uncomplicated as some bouts of jealousy and clinginess, to a total emotion wreck of a player who could break your heart over and over again.

See, emotional security is one of the main reasons why people get into relationships – to feel secure and not alone in their emotional battles. And if you fail to give her that, you may fail to make her happy and you may be at risk of losing who might be the girl of your dreams.

You and your girlfriend have your own set of responsibilities in the relationship but your foremost obligation is to make her feel secure emotionally, as she should to you. And to achieve that, it needs more than just the usual exchange of ‘I love you’s’.

Here are some of the most important and simple ways to make your girlfriend emotionally secure:
So number 1, just pay her attention. Girls are aware that we are huge attention-seekers. We love getting the attention of our men, most especially. Does she casually sneak in anecdotes like, “I want to go out and have an outdoor date!” in every conversation? So give your girlfriend exactly that. Listen to her, ask her about how her day went, and always pay attention to her stories. And it does not stop with that. Paying attention means noticing even the words that are unsaid. So always be sensitive about her.

Next up, do not judge her for how she feels. We are all entitled to whatever we feel, and we should feel most protected from judgment and ridicule around the people we love. So if she feels ugly, or she’s angry at her boss for no reason, do not judge her nor ridicule her. Be kind in speaking your thoughts out – girls are extremely sensitive. And always, always listen to her. Always show her that she can trust you with her deepest, innermost feelings.

Some other good advice I can give you; nurture her other passions. Girls can be so passionate about so many things apart from you. It could be her work, her pets, her studies, maybe even her garden or cooking. Whatever it is, as long as it does not harm her, support her and nurture her. You, the love of her life, is expected to be her foremost source of support so give it to her and do not disappoint her. This is a skill that you should have if you want to be happy in your dating life and relationship.

And you need to learn to trust her. When she sees and feels that you are confident about her and that you trust her, she will be more confident about herself and how she deals with you in the relationship. She will be prouder of herself and of you and will be generally more at ease because she knows that she has the confidence of the man she loves. If there’s no trust, then might as well get ready to be her future ex-boyfriend, and with you probably finding ways on how to get an ex back if you still love her. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you!

Finally, do your damndest to earn her trust. Trust, after love, is the most important factor in any relationship. It is also perhaps the most important way to make your woman feel secure: let her know that she can trust you. Don’t give her any reason to doubt you or to fear about losing you to some other woman on a crazy night out. Earn her trust in everything – and I mean, EVERY THING.

Always strive to make your woman emotionally secure – because it is the key to have a healthy, happy relationship.

Keep it real guys, your blogger, DAHLAK “The Man” MEDHANE

I’m A Geek And Proud Of It

Okay readers, so I wanted to share something with you guys; my deep, dark secret. It’s not something that’s obvious to everyone and so if you haven’t realised already, I’m a complete geek. And very proud of it! :) Geeky men may stand like wallflower next to the jocks and the preppy fashionista men who are walking GQ magazine covers; and quite frankly, next to these flawless debonair men, getting a date may be more challenging for geeks. What, with the geek’s obvious lack of self confidence and their comic book-absorbed personas, they would naturally fit on the sidelines too easily. But did you know that more and more girls are discovering the wonders and joys of dating geeks? (It’s true, email me at dahlak@uraniumcafe-the.com and I’ll share my inside knowledge with you. )

So hey, geeky guy, come out of your chemistry lab more often! Ladies these days are more open to dating the likes of you and Albert Einstein (who, reportedly, was very popular among the ladies). Why not, there are a lot of reasons why she should date a geek!  And, actually, more and more ladies are seeking help for when dating the geeky men of this generation (I swear, check Google for the latest articles about ‘How to Date a Geeky Guy’). And so, to help you fellow geeky guys prepare for the geek-loving female world outside of your private labs, offices, and comic cons, here are some of very helpful dating tips for the geeky guys:

To begin with, don’t be afraid to use your geekiness to your advantage. Intelligence is sexy. Intelligence is interesting. Not all men are gifted with your intellectual capacity. You belong to a special breed of men whose intelligence is higher than most other men out there. You are talented – you aren’t quite like everyone else. By all means, sweetheart, you are special. You are a great and wonderful guy worthy of a lady’s attention. You may not look quite as good as most men, but hey, most men out there could not stand 5 minutes playing chess with you! Use your gifts to impress the ladies!

Secondly (and this piece of advice comes from a master dating coach) “Always look your best.Matthew Ganz’s @ [SIBG.com’s advice on how to get a girlfriend. So you wear a tacky tie to work every day. So your socks are always colored. So your favorite shirt is a Star Wars memento. Well then by all means, wear it with dignity. Ask friends of yours – ladies, if possible – to help you pair your favorite articles of clothing with some other things so you don’t look like a clown. There’s nothing wrong with your geekiness, especially if you pair it with some fashionable edge. And most important of all – yes, actually more important than all the fashion increments of this message – always be clean. Shower regularly, use deodorant, wear fresh, clean clothes every day, and wash your hair especially if you’re keeping your locks long.

And to finish, don’t try too hard to be like other, non-geeky men. Like I said, your geekiness is special. Use that to stand out. Talk to the ladies about the chemical content of their choice of drinks. Explain to them the underlying social message of V for Vendetta. Or talk about the history of the Statue of Liberty. The thing with geeky men is that they can handle meaningful conversations better than any others guys can. You don’t have to walk around in baggy pants and show off your underwear like most other guys do. Embrace yourself and you’ll find it a good source of confidence. You’ll see the ladies will come to you and asking them out on a date would be easy breezy.

So, ready to go out on a date be sure to read this for advice on how to court that girl you hot geeky thang? *wink*

Going Outdoor? Go CAVEMAN!

Right guys, I’m sitting at my computer looking out the window, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I think it’s a great day to kick it up a notch and head outdoors on a date with that special person in your life. Dates these days are more than just the usual trip to the fanciest restaurant around or cuddling up in the movie theater watching the latest showings. Men, classier and more creative as you’ve become, have been more than wonderfully creative in date idea. Outdoor dates are becoming a hot trend, and for so many reasons.

A date outdoors, with a feel of the wind on your faces and the carefree closeness to nature, can easily bring in the good vibes. And without the need to act all aristocratic and high end on a picnic (although that is never an excuse to eat sloppily or noisily), it is easier to relax. On top of that, you are not necessarily confined to a one-on-one sesh in a crowded room.

The options you have for your outdoor date largely depends on how creative you are and on how much outdoor space you can explore around your area. The bigger challenge in taking your date outdoors, however, is on how to make it a romantic date as opposed to the usual platonic meet up.

Thankfully, there are simple fool proof ways to promote a romantic environment to an outdoor date, be it a picnic at the local park, an afternoon on the beach watching the sunset, or a hiking trip to a nearby trail. Read these ideas for how to make a ‘good’ outdoor date, a ‘great’ one instead!

Let’s start with something simple but effective; the flowers. Flowers are tested and proven to create and set the mood on a date. Yes, flowers make women more romantic. Without flowers, any date would look ordinary and purely friendly. Go for a bunch of crimson roses or some pretty little lilies. For a beach date, lei of white blossoms or a huge piece of lily of the valley to tuck in her ear would easily set the tone for the beach date. Ditch the flowers on a hiking date, however. You can’t possibly be walking miles carrying a bunch of flowers that would likely be soft and wilted by the time you sit down for lunch.

A must remember on any outdoor trip are the right accessories. And I don’t mean jewellery. Make her comfortable but be creative while at it. Some cushions, a soft blanket and some candles or electric lamps for effect if going for a night out – these will not only keep her warm but will set the visuals of the date. Go for sexy, sultry colors of crimson and black or some deep pinks. Ditch grandma’s patchwork blankie, it will contradict the romantic ambiance.

Don’t forget the all important music. This is one basic tip in courting a girl. Nothing beats music when it comes to ambiance setting. Go for some sexy Latino beats over the open fire in the camping grounds or play some Owl City hits while exchanging some S’mores by the beach. Or better yet, play some old Beatles hits on your guitar at the ballpark and you’ll definitely have her attention while setting the mood.

And most importantly bring the right food. The secret to successful outdoor dating when it comes to food are these three things: none-filling, creative, and sexy. Have a combination of finger foods, non-messy, easy-to-pack food (and does not spoil easily!) presented in a very sexy way. And never, ever forget the sweets. Ditch the pasta for some turkey-raspberry sandwiches, chicken sandwich or some Hawaiian wrap. Bring some fresh fruit slices and eat them as is or be a little creative with some chocolate dip that you can prepare beforehand. Who needs a chocolate fondue when you can have this fast and easy?

Don’t just believe me, read this article at SIBG knowledge base or email me at dahlak@uraniumcafe-the.com for some ideas.

Well that’s it from me for today, I’m heading off to make the most of the sun! Till next time readers!